Wednesday, August 31, 2011

New mommy skillz

Sure, there were things I knew I would learn once I had a baby. Things like how to change a diaper, how to give a bath, how to swaddle, etc. And I'm happy to say that I've mastered all those skills. But I didn't know I'd need some other skills just to survive. Some very absurd things that I'm happy I now know how to do.

1. I can now sleep sitting up, while holding a child in my arms. Now, you're going to tell me that the books and experts say not to do that because you could drop your baby. Well, I don't know a single mom who hasn't done this. And now I do it pretty much every day. Jack still likes napping in my arms so while he naps, I fall asleep. Sitting up. My neck doesn't feel great but a cat nap during the day is nice.

2. I can go to the bathroom while holding a sleeping baby. Don't get me wrong, I haven't done this in a while, but when the little guy was a newborn, it seemed essential. Looking back, I don't know why in the heck I didn't put him down, but it didn't seem like an option. No matter, because I mastered the art of going to the bathroom while holding child. I know what you're thinking... I too expect my Mother of the Year award any day now.

3. I can effectively transfer a sleeping baby from my arms to a crib and then tip toe away. Man, this one took a little while to master. Or maybe Jack's just getting to be a better sleeper. But so so many nights I would make sure he was fast asleep, bouncing him for up to 30 minutes. Then I'd creep to the crib, gingerly lay him down, and BAM. He was wide awake and crying. Are you kidding me?! But now I'm an expert. (Most of the time).

4. I can tune out crying babies. Now, don't get me wrong, I don't ignore Jack's cries. (Usually). But prior to giving birth, I was so aware of a crying baby in a restaurant or public place. Isn't that just a grating sound? And then I had a newborn and of course I jumped at any cry. Now I barely hear a crying baby in a mall. And when Jack's bored in his jumperoo and starts to cry, I look at my sandwich and think, well, I can finish this.

5. Maybe most importantly, I can now dispense my favorite frozen yogurt with one hand. This was tricky. I love frozen yogurt. And I love this place down the street that is self-serve. So I pack up the kid in the car, drive there, and then what? I'm not hauling a stroller in for a 2 minute expedition. And putting on the Baby Bjorn seems like such a pain. So I just carry him in and then juggle the cup in one hand and dispense the yogurt in the other. I thought I had it down and was making it look easy but last week another mom asked me if I needed help. What? Did she think I was actually risking dropping my kid for some peanut butter chocolate frozen yogurt? Oh. Well.... I wasn't!


  1. YES. but #1, not just a catnap during the day - many, many nights spent with no horizontal sleep. who knew? and #2? still do it sometimes, not going to lie, and sometimes she's nursing to boot. although with an almost 1 year old, i don't think this qualifies as a skill so much as a failure. #5, i'm so impressed! i've only ever done it with the bjorn, and she has flung chocolate chips across the store several times despite my best efforts!

  2. Haha this is funny, cute and clever!! I was actualy shopping with a girlfriend yesterday who went to the toilet with her baby in the pouch lol
    Good guesswork there :)