Monday, February 28, 2011

Oscars 2011

Excuse the Christmas pajamas. We figure that if all he's going to do is poop and urinate on his clothes, an outdated Christmas outfit is fine.

Jack may not have been into watching the Oscars but he was nice enough to nap on mom's lap for almost the entire three hours. What a gift to his tired mom. It would have been nice for the Academy to reciprocate with a decent telecast but I can easily say that was the worst Oscars I have ever seen. I knew Hathaway and Franco would either be a spectacular failure or success, I just didn't guess that Franco wouldn't even try. I've seen him try harder in a "Daily Show" interview. For some reason he decided that hosting the Oscars would be better while stoned so he seemed pretty out of it. Poor Hathaway tried her hardest and I do think she's likable, but it was clear she knew they were in trouble and she was getting desperate. Combine that with the most predictable roster of winners in any year in memory and you've got a dud of a show. The one bright spot for me was watching Billy Crystal take total command of the stage as a sad reminder of what a charismatic host can do. I miss him. Though I know one day he will be back. Just hope it's sometime soon.

At least the red carpet fashion was interesting this year. Sadly I don't have time with Jack on my lap to link to pics of all the dresses, but I did have some favorites and least favorites. I think I really disliked:
Nicole Kidman's white structural scary gown
Marisa Tomei's hideous a-symetrical mermaid gown
Melissa Leo's frightening arts and crafts matron dress
Jennifer Hudson's hairdo and weird cleavage (if I had just lost 80 pounds, I would have brought it a little more)

Amused by:
Helena Bonham Carter's usual crazy fare (though I would have liked her a little more crazy)
Cate Blanchett's high fashion structured dress

And my favorites:
Jennifer Lawrence's slinky red dress
Reese Witherspoon's simple black and white
Sandra Bullock's show stopping red gown
Mila Kunis' lavender lace gown
(shockingly) Natalie Portman's burgundy bump dress


This past week my mom was nice enough to stay in LA so she could help out the new mom and dad. She's the reason that we got a shower every day, a home-cooked meal each day, and nap every afternoon. And, luckily, Jack took to his grandma very very well. Thanks for everything Grandma!

Saturday, February 26, 2011

Today Jack is...1 week old.

Jack's 1 week birthday was today and he celebrated by eating, sleeping, and pooping. Oh, and burping. Those seem to be his four favorite activities. He's continued to be a champion sleeper and doesn't really fuss. We know this stage will end soon so we're trying to enjoy every minute of it. This week the lil' guy had a few outings where he coped with his car seat time by falling asleep. I'll take it. We went for our first walk but only made it around the block as that's about as far as I could get with my post-partum recovery still in full swing. Still, he got to see the neighborhood from his Moby wrap and I think he approved.

Today did have some noteworthy activities though. First, Jack watched Syracuse beat Georgetown with his daddy. He was seriously excited about some of Syracuse's big plays in this very important game.

Then, in what I have to believe was God's nod to Jack's first birthday, it snowed in LA for the first time in decades. Yup, real snow. See? On the car and on the roof?

So, week one has flown by. We had a couple bumps in the road while we were trying to navigate all this new parenting stuff, but Jack dealt with his incompetent mom and dad very well. He's an angel and we're already hoping he doesn't grow up too fast.

Friday, February 25, 2011

champion eater and sleeper

Well, I don't want to jinx it, but Jack has been a champion this past day or two. Last night he slept like crazy, only waking up when we got him up for a feed. And he didn't cry once! Of course, I fully expect a lot of bad nights in our future, but I'll take this one great one. Jack must have known that his parents needed a little more sleep and he happily obliged. He's taken to breastfeeding really well and seems to be drinking milk like crazy. We'll see how much he's gained his next weigh-in. Now if only mommy could find some bras that fit....

In honor our of great night, here's our first family photos and some additional adorable ones.

I call this one "Sleep Deprivation: A Study of New Parents"

Thursday, February 24, 2011

La Leche esta aqui!

I'm hoping that means "the milk is here!" It's been a while since high school Spanish. But after our 12 hour formula sojourn, my milk came in. So that solved problem one. But Jack was/is still having trouble latching so we had a lactation consultant come visit. LC's are quite popular nowadays and, while I didn't know how worthwhile it would be, this woman was worth her weight in gold. She spent three hours with us, going over Jack's long 3-day history, different latches, and helped us breastfeed for 90 minutes. She was fantastic. She left and we were confident we could do everything she had taught us. Of course, we hit a few bumps in the road but we're all doing better. Jack's been feeding away and I'm confident he's gaining weight. Well, I'm mostly confident. A few 2am meltdowns shake that confidence sometimes, but most of the time, Jack is an angel. Here he is, pretty damn mellow, after a nice long feeding.

Smile. No question mark.

This pic leaves no doubt... a real smile!

Of course, it was captured by Grandma while Mom was sleeping so I can't take credit for it. But the nap did feel pretty amazing. She also took this photo where I think Jack looks just like his dad, complete with the suspicious side glance.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011


Come on, he's too damn cute.

Not sure if it was a real smile (maybe just a transition from frown to yawn). But I caught it on camera and I'm gonna say it was his first half-smile.

First outing

Yesterday Jack had his first outing. The special destination was the pediatrician's office for his standard 3 day check-up. He's so tiny that the car seat almost swallowed him up.

Of course, he was looking tinier than before we thought. And the previous 10 hours or so, he had refused to really breastfeed and was just so so upset all the time. His lips were really chapped and, upon further investigation, his mouth and tongue were super dry. So thank goodness we happened to have a doctor's appointment right then. The doctor was wonderful (so glad we chose her pre-birth). She told us that he had lost about a pound since birth which was more than she wanted to see and that he was dehydrated. As my milk hasn't come in yet, he wasn't getting anything to eat and that's why he was so upset and didn't want to bother with the breast. I don't blame him. So Doc suggested that we would have to supplement with formula to have him gain some weight. The mere mention of formula was somewhat upsetting. After nine months of reading how much better breastmilk was than formula, it was disheartening to hear that we would have to use formula. But she assured us that he would be able to go back to breastfeeding once my milk comes in. We'll see what happens. But it was hard to argue with the immediate results of him getting some food. His color got back to normal, his lips immediately began to be moist again, and he stopped crying for hours. So, what's best for Jack is best for everyone. :-) Especially since it allowed us to get some more sleep.

Jack had his follow-up appointment this morning and we're happy to report he gained a whole 5 ounces overnight! Not back up to birth weight or even to hospital discharge weight, but we're getting there!

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

About the name...

So a funny thing happened when John and I got pregnant. We started talking about names (of course, the best part of having a baby) and we came to one conclusion. We both only liked one boy name. And, miraculously, we both liked the same one boy name. Boy names tend to be pretty pedestrian unless you're planning on giving birth to the next great NBA or NFL star. Dhani? Plaxico? D'Brickashaw? Seeing as how neither of us are purebred athletes, we thought we'd stay away from those. Although Donovan (a la McNabb) made a big push. So if we weren't going sporty we could go Hollywood. Would be appropriate since both of us live such a glamorous LA lifestyle. Pilot? Zuma? Bronx? No, that just would not do.

But, like I said, it wasn't really an issue because the one name both John and I liked was Jack. It's a strong simple name. A main character's name. A hero's name. That's why they use it for a lot of fictional TV and film characters. Jack Bauer. Jack Ryan. Jack Sparrow. Jack Dawson. Jack Shephard. Jack Kelly. (if you get that last one, you're awesome.) Plus Jack was John's grandfather's name and "Jack Dutch" is also John's nickname. So it was always Jack. From about week 5. Took some of the fun out of playing the name game for 9 months, but oh well. The one thing that gave me pause about Jack was that it was so popular. But I figured we didn't know any kids with that name so we were in the clear.

As for girls' names, we did have an awesome girl's name. One we really liked with a perfect middle name too. But I never thought we'd use it. We'll keep it though, just in case.

And about Jack's middle name... Nunzio. We had a couple more traditional middle names in the mix but, in the end, we decided they all made him sound like a blueblood Kennedy or something. So we wanted something different. On kind of a whim I suggested Nunzio. Now, it's a well known joke in my family that Nunzio is my grandpa's middle name and he HATES it. A lot. Which is of course why his kids call him Nunz. But while Grandpa hates it, we started to say "Jack Nunzio" out loud and thought it sounded kind of cool. I liked the idea of doing an Italian name because our last name is so German. And of course we could pay tribute to one of the greatest grandpas around. Also, loosely translated, Nunzio means God's messenger or the announcer which is pretty damn cool.

So, there it is. Jack Nunzio. We kept it a secret all those months but we told you not to build it up because it wouldn't be something groundbreaking. Hope you like it.

Monday, February 21, 2011


... Jack Nunzio Dietrick.

Born Saturday 2/19/11 and measuring 7 pounds, 9 ounces, and 19.75 inches. He is perfect in every way. Beautiful skin, good color, great hair. His dad's good looks and his mom's big ears, long fingers and toes.

There's the whole birth labor and delivery story to tell you but I'll save that for a time when I actually have two hands free. And, don't worry, I'll be sure to include John's POV on the experience. In the meantime, here's some snapshots. Excuse the quality...most of them were just on our iphones in a dark hospital room.

Saturday, February 19, 2011

Oh yeah, about this blog...

You may notice that there are a lot of posts on this lil' blog even though you're just hearing about it. Let me explain. First, while the first entry is from June or so, don't worry, I haven't been blogging behind your backs for that long. I just kept track of my pregnancy week by week and then, when I started this blog a few weeks ago, I transferred all that information here. And appropriately dated each post. Second, I didn't want to tell everyone about the blog until after our little arrival. Call me superstitious!

This blog is for friends and family so they can see pictures of the little guy and keep up with our lives. I'm not so arrogant enough to think that I have anything new to add to the "motherhood" experience or story. But this will be a welcome diversion and an easy way to share pictures and stories with everyone.

You'll see the posts go back a while so please check out the earlier posts for hilarious (okay, not really) accounts of my pregnancy week by week. And the real reason to read them? "John's POV" at the end of each post. Adorable and funny at the same time. And don't be shy about commenting!

Thursday, February 17, 2011

Today I am...41 weeks pregnant.

Well, I guess I knew I would make it to 41 weeks. Studies show that first time moms usually go a week over their due date. To that I would say, then why don't doctors make the due date at 41 weeks? Or why don't weekly pregnancy email updates go up to 41 weeks? Or why have almost all my friends not gone past their due date? I'm not expecting any answers, just hoping for a baby soon. I certainly have tried to naturally induce labor but, to no avail. But I really did try every thing I had heard. To date, I think I've tried: evening primrose oil, raspberry leaf tea, spicy Chinese food, spicy Indian food, "labor" cookies, pineapple, "the maternity salad" at an LA restaurant, eggplant parmesan, bouncing on a birthing ball, walking miles a day, drinking lots of water, massage, and acupuncture. Also had the doctor "strip the membranes" and that didn't work either. So, yes, apparently babies come when they feel like it. Of course, it's easy to say such a thing but harder to accept when you're sitting around waiting. I had pretty much finished prepping the house and nursery weeks ago, so there wasn't much to do this past week.

There were lots of doctor's appointments and acupuncture appointments though. I must say, acupuncture is fairly amazing. It didn't send me into labor but I do believe it stimulated the uterus and some mild contractions. I could feel the baby and the uterus going crazy while I had the needles in various parts of my body. My doctor said I had made a little progress (not much) but that the baby looked okay and thought it would be okay to go until 41 1/2 weeks. The little guy keeps passing his non-stress test with flying colors. His heartbeat sounds good and, at the same time, the monitor also tracks my contractions. I maintain that I've yet to have a contraction but the monitor seems to think I'm having one. All I have to say is that if contractions are as painless and unobtrusive as these, I'll be completely fine in labor.

We saw the doc again on Wednesday and my amniotic fluid was 'borderline' low. Today we're going back to see her to check fluids again. I'm hoping with as much rest as I've been taking along with the 100 ounces of water a day, we'll be fine to wait until Monday. That's our plan.

***Well, I was wrong. Later that day we saw our doctor who told us the amniotic fluid was too low and that it would be best to check into the hospital and have this baby now. But what? I left the house without emptying the dishwasher and taking out the trash! But into the hospital we went and over 24 hours later, little Jack was born. More on that story later....

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Things I could not have lived without

As my days as a pregnant lady start to wane, I find myself looking back at a time that has flown by. I didn't have it as hard as some other people, but I must say that there are some things I could have never done without. I survived only because of these things...
  • Body Pillow - Definitely the most important I think. I didn't get one of those crazy pregnancy ones that wrap all around the front and back of your body. Don't think I would have had room for that type unless I kicked John out of bed. But just your normal straight long body pillow. Absolutely a lifesaver.
  • Breakfast burritos - I know I've mentioned this tasty breakfast option many times before, but I am very serious. Eggs saved me this pregnancy and there no better way to eat eggs then wrapped in a tortilla with cheese and salsa. Yum!
  • Activia yogurt - Yeah, it's not glamorous but this was necessary with all the damn iron and vitamins they pump in you. Besides, it's delicious with granola!
  • Decaf Vanilla Nonfat Latte - Before pregnancy, my morning routine usually consisted of a Starbucks run. It wasn't totally for the caffeine, more for the ritual. While I held off on decaf coffee the first trimester, I allowed myself to have decaf around week 20. Let me tell you, those lattes are delicious and helped me feel human every morning.
  • Gap Maternity v-neck T-shirts - Pretty much all I wore pre-pregnancy were v-neck t-shirts from the Gap. So it makes sense that all I wore during pregnancy were the maternity version.
  • Yoga Pants - I should probably call these pajama pants though because, while I wear them to bed every night, I have yet to do yoga in them. But the same stretchy pants I wore every night pre-pregnancy, I still wear every night at 9 months. That's some stretchy fabric.
  • Bra Extenders - These helped me wear my old bras for a while after they got too tight. Of course, eventually I had to buy new bras but this delayed the purchase for a while.
  • Motherhood Maternity store - My mom and I raided the Motherhood store twice during this pregnancy and I came away with the majority of items I've worn every single day. Jeans, work shirts, and the super important, long cardigan sweaters.
  • Liquid Maalox - Oh Maalox. My good friend. I thought all chewable tablet antacids were gross but this chalky liquid was much easier to swallow. Middle of the night, heartburn going crazy, I just popped up (okay, more like a slow roll), opened the fridge, and took swigs straight from the bottle.
  • emails - When you find out you're pregnant you sign up for a ton of emails and newsletters. But I found the BabyCenter ones to be the best. They always reassured me that all my symptoms were completely normal.
  • Moccasin Slippers - Towards the end of my pregnancy, I shuffled around the house in these comfy things. My bare feet couldn't handle all the weight and who wants to put on real shoes?
  • Angel Sounds Fetal Heart Doppler - I am definitely a worrier and too many times I was worried that the lil' guy wasn't moving enough. So we bought this super inexpensive device that actually worked really well. The headphones looked like they were from 1980 and the plastic monitor felt cheap, but it worked like a charm. Well worth the $25 for peace of mind.
  • Awesome husband - I highly recommend this last one. Truly a lifesaver.

Friday, February 11, 2011

Today I am...40 weeks pregnant.

Wow, my due date. The long awaited 2/11/11. Unfortunately, it's just another day today and the little guy shows no signs of moving out. Had another doctor's appointment this past week where she informed me that I hadn't made any progress. She is already throwing around the word "induction" which I don't love. Especially since I'm sure, if he had his way, the lil' one would come out at 42 weeks. But modern doctors don't really let moms go to 42 weeks so we'll see what happens. In the mean time, it's time to bring on the natural labor induction techniques! Truthfully, I think all of these are complete b.s. but it makes me feel proactive. So far it's included evening primrose oil tablets, raspberry leaf tea, bouncing on an exercise ball, spicy food, the "maternity" salad from a famous LA restaurant, and a prenatal massage. But today I also tried acupuncture. I went to this place that specializes in pregnancy acupuncture and wow, it was cool. I don't think it'll automatically induce labor, but you can certainly feel those needles doing something. The feeling radiates down your feet and up your arms. At the very least, my acupuncturist said it should make my labor easier if I do have to be induced. We'll see...

That's about all that's happening here. We threw a Superbowl party at our house last weekend and that was our last hoorah. Now we're just playing the waiting game. Not something I'm very good at. Here's a picture of me "waiting" this morning, at a full 40 weeks.

And now, for the weekly stats...

How far along: 40 weeks

Baby Development: Nothing new except he's as big as a small pumpkin. That's giant. Again, I'm worried he'll be huge but I guess there's not much I can do about it now.

Baby Movement: He's got peaks and valleys. Sometimes he moves a lot and at other times he has slow hours/days. But we're doing our kick counts.

Water Intake: My acupuncturist immediately could tell I wasn't drinking enough water. So I got busted. Going to try to do better.

Best Moment this Week: Getting a massage at the spa. Not as good as a "real" massage because they're scared to press too hard on a giant pregnant lady. But still, amazing.

Current baby/pregnancy worry: Oh man, where do I start? I guess mostly worried about having to be induced and then having a c-section. Though I'm trying to tell myself that tons of women have inductions and/or c-sections and they are fine and all they care about is that their baby is healthy. So we'll see what happens...

Symptoms: Still have heartburn. This sort of shocks me. I thought at the end the heartburn was supposed to go away but maybe the lil' guy hasn't dropped enough. Doesn't matter what I eat or what time I stop eating before I go to bed. Guaranteed to wake up with heartburn between 12 and 2am.

Sleep Quality: Not bad actually. Sleeping pretty soundly aside from the three trips to the bathroom.

Food Cravings: Not so much cravings...but we've just been trying to eat all these inducing foods. It's not working.

What I Miss: Having a back that doesn't hurt all the time. I used to think it hurt but this is way more achy.

I'm Looking Forward to: Meeting the little guy very very soon!

Trying to Get Done Before Baby:
I honestly think I'm done. We did our taxes, completely redecorated the guest room, washed all the baby clothes, cleaned our house top to bottom...we're ready!

John's POV:
"The kid missed having a pretty rad b-day. 2/11/11? Come on. And since 2/12/11 passed, and we’re pretty sure Valentine’s Day is going to come and go with us just staring at Lisa’s belly for umpteenth consecutive night, there’s not a lot of cool b-day options left. Though I think he can make it to 2/21/11 or 2/22/11. Though those are more like pathetic luggage codes than anything else. As far as the old wives’ tales regarding the onset of labor, we are truly willing to try anything. Eggplant Parm? OK. Cactus tacos? Sure. Orange soda? How much and how often? I’m looking forward to perpetuating the inductive powers of whatever dish Lisa coincidentally consumes on the day the baby decides to descend. It’ll likely just be the 98th breakfast burrito she’s had during her pregnancy. So yes, eat 98 breakfast burritos and that kid will shoot out like a rocket."

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

What I'll Miss About Being Pregnant

As crazy as it seems, there are definitely things I'll miss about being pregnant. Granted, my pregnancy seems like it was fairly easy, compared to some. But there are some great things that happened that I'll miss.

1. Thick, long, luxurious hair. Sure, it would have looked a bit more luxurious if I have actually blown dry and brushed my hair every morning. But still... my ponytail looked better than it ever has.

2. Long, fast-growing fingernails. Haven't had those in a long time. Well, maybe I've never had those.

3. No colds, cough, or flu. Now, I don't know why this is. I suspect it's because prenatal vitamins are serious business and packed with billions of milligrams of goodies. But I usually get a cold or two or ten at work and I didn't get a single sniffle.

4. Feeling the little guy inside me. It is such a bizarre, yet amazing feeling. I've gotten to the point where it's just comfy and familiar, rather than something to take notice of.

5. Having an excuse to eat desserts, real eggs rather than egg whites, cheese on everything, and real sugar rather than sugar substitutes.

6. Imagining (and idealizing) our son's life. Sure, he'll be great in person, but while pregnant, you can imagine all of these possibilities and idealize how it'll be. Like 9 hours of sleep a night with a newborn and no temper tantrums...ever.

7. Having an excuse to cut out early of parties and go to bed early. Truthfully, I've never been a night owl but, being pregnant, I finally had an excuse to hit the sack at a ridiculously early hour.

8. My skin has never been clearer. No acne, no blemishes for nine months. Pretty awesome.

9. Elastic band pants.

10. And finally, the most amazing, miraculous part of pregnancy... I am never cold!! Pre-pregnancy I was constantly cold. In 70 degree weather, sitting in an office, anywhere and everywhere. I'd had to have a scarf and a sweater with me. At my desk at work? A portable heater that I used all year long. Yet pregnancy hits and Bam! I am warm. Constantly warm. But like a normal warm. I can wear t-shirts all the time. It's so awesome! I am actually hoping this trend continues post-partum but we'll see.

Monday, February 7, 2011

stretch marks

Remember what I said about being grateful that I don't have any stretch marks yet? Well, I lied. Turns out, I do have a couple of small stretch marks. Just weren't that easy to see with all of this giant belly in the way. Oh well. I wear them with pride!

Friday, February 4, 2011

Today I am...39 weeks pregnant.

39 weeks. Not sure how many of these updates I have left in me. One for sure (I think) and then maybe one more? Either way, it's crazy how close we're getting. Of course, you wouldn't know it because not much has changed. Sure, I'm bigger and slower, but still no contractions. Almost everyone on the pregnancy message boards has experienced early contractions or Braxton-Hicks contractions by now, but not me. And I can only assume I'd know it if I'd had. My doctor assures me that's also normal and some people don't get them until they're really in labor. But, at the same time, I'd like to have a preview of this "worst pain of my entire life". Would make it less of a mystery. At this point, I'm waiting for some unknown hour on some unknown day where my body just revolts in pain. It's pretty awesome!

This week the doctor's appointment was status quo. Head down, heartbeat looked good, and I'm still 1 cm dilated. No signs of the lil' guy going anywhere for the time being. We did make progress at home this week though, as we completely re-did the guest room. And by "we" I mean John did the work and I supervised. Though I got to do the fun part of shopping for new bedding and pillows, etc. More errands meant more strangers asking me if I was expecting a girl but I didn't mind so much this week. I guess my body just likes to distribute the weight more evenly like a girl rather than have a belly that is pointy and sticks straight out like a normal boy baby. I'm sure it's because my body is used to distributing a lot of weight. :)

Today, in honor of being 39 weeks, we hired a housekeeper (maid? is that PC?) to come give our house a deep cleaning in preparation for baby. My parents and grandparents would be aghast at the idea of paying someone to clean my own house. I should get off my lazy butt and do it myself. And I should. But the idea of scrubbing the tub and getting every dust bunny out from under our bed while 9 months pregnant was painful. It's hard enough to pull on my pants and walk to the grocery store, let alone scrubbing floors. So we hired someone. Now I just have to think of an excuse to keep using her because our house looks awesome.

And now, for the weekly stats:

How far along: 39 weeks

Baby Development: Not much new to report on the development front. He's full grown and now just getting bigger and bigger in order to inflict greater pain on me during delivery.

Baby Movement: Great movement this week for the lil' guy, we were very proud of him. Though one night I was afraid he was going to kick through my belly.

Water Intake: I've decided to count coffee, milk, caffeine-free diet coke, and orange juice as water. In that case, I'm doing well.

Best Moment this Week: Probably getting a surprise ultrasound at the doctor's appointment. The lil' guy looked like a real baby in there!

Current baby/pregnancy worry: I'm back to worrying about labor and delivery. This may be from watching too many reality tv shows on pregnancy and birth. None of those moms look like they're having much fun in the hospital.

Symptoms: Same things you've heard about. I'm sure you're bored with it. Waddle walking, heartburn... but actually it hasn't been too bad.

Sleep Quality: Don't quote me, but I think I may be sleeping a TINY bit better than I was a few weeks ago. More pillows definitely help. Though now I am getting up for the bathroom three times a night but I guess that's how it goes.

Food Cravings: Ice Cream. Yum! The perfect way to end a day.

What I Miss: Being able to run errands or spend a few hours out of the house without having to find the nearest restroom. I'm tired of public restrooms.

I'm Looking Forward to: Superbowl this weekend! Probably the last time we'll host all our friends at our house without baby.

Trying to Get Done Before Baby:
Return some Babies r' Us stuff, get the car seat checked at the police station, and get our taxes done so we can get a refund and pay for more baby stuff.

John's POV:
"It still doesn't seem like this thing is ever going to happen. Even though something has obviously been happening for quite a while now. I don't see his motivation for leaving. It's warm and quiet and dark, he's constantly feeding or sleeping or both, and his mom carries him everywhere he goes. He's not trading up upon exiting."

Thursday, February 3, 2011

"You're having a girl." No, no I'm not.

Yesterday marked the tenth time that an absolute stranger has told me that I'm having a girl. I get that a lot. Here's just one example from the supermarket yesterday.

Me - giant pregnant lady waddling down Aisle 7, minding my own business, trying to buy some crushed tomatoes.
Her - old lady, I'd say 70, clearly wants to say something to me and finally does...

"When are you due?"
"In about two weeks."
"Wow, she has really dropped. I mean, really dropped."
"Yes, I know."
"You're having a girl, right?"
"Ha, ha. No, it's a boy. But I hear that a lot." Like, all the time.
"Are you sure it's a boy? It really looks like a girl."
"Well, three doctors have confirmed it's a boy..." ...and they probably have more medical degrees than you.
"Well, if that's a boy, he must be huge. Like really giant."
"Ha, ha. I guess so. That won't be easy!" Keep smiling, she's just an old lady.
"I'm guessing you could have a 10 pounder."
Tight smile. Is there really a response to such a thing? Maybe, 'well, thanks a lot.'
"Are you sure you aren't having twins? My friend's daughter thought she was only having one and then during delivery, out came twins!"
"Wow, that's crazy." Really, I've never heard such a crazy story. Good thing I have competent doctors.
"Well, whatever you do, you have to have more than one. The kid can't be alone. It is very bad for them."
"Oh, I know, isn't that the truth." Really lady? You know nothing about me and now you're telling me that a) I look giant enough to have a 10 pounder, and b) I better get pregnant again or she's going to come after me and call me a terrible mother.

At that point I smiled and told her I hope she has a good day and went off with my crushed tomatoes. And I have to say, the penne pasta with shrimp in creamy vodka sauce was delicious. Maybe I will have a 10 pounder...