Emmys 2012

Well, I can't manage to finish my summer vacation photo posting (I'm thinking I'll be done around Thanksgiving) but I do have some photos from the Emmys last night.  My fashion critic bud Stacey came over and we watched the red carpet arrivals.  The world is CLEARLY crying out for my opinions on these dresses, so...here you go.  (apologies to my grandparents and relatives and pretty much everyone who has zero interest in this type of thing).

And in no particular order and with zero organization....

Christina Hendricks - How do you solve a problem like Maria?

Let's get a big one out of the way.  And obviously I'm referring to poor Christina Hendricks' assets.  Sometimes I feel so badly for her because all people want to talk about are her boobs.  And she's on a hit show and is a fairly good actress and seems to be pretty intelligent and funny.  So I'm sure she's tired of talking about them.  That being said, it's so hard to dress them.  This is certainly not the worst I've ever seen her look.  I just hate that bland color on her and the extra fabric on the hip is kind of lame.  But it's fine.

Truthfully, I saw a picture of how she looked at the pre-Emmy party the day before and thought, "Damn, she looks fantastic.  There's no way she'll look that good at the Emmys."  And I was right.

Lena Dunham, Zosia Mamet, and Allison Williams - The girls of "Girls"

Forget the fact that she looks miserable...I think that's just a bad picture.  I like her new short haircut but this dress is disastrous.  I appreciate that she wasn't going to wear some off-the-runway couture dress because that's not her, but this is doing her no favors.  It is heavy (in 100 degree heat) and makes her look way thicker than she is.  Plus it's just huge and makes her head look tiny.

Terrible hair, bad styling, and weird bad dress.  Sorry David Mamet's daughter.

I included this only because it was the only green dress I saw and I love that color.  Wish more people would wear it because I suspect most people look good in it.  The cut of the dress isn't amazing but she looks nice.

Sea Foam Gals - Julianne Hough and Heidi Klum

I have to say that in this picture her dress looks prettier than on the red carpet.  But the weird collar thing on the chest was velvet and the dress was all sequins and beads.  It just looked weird.  Matched with that helmet hair it just failed.

Well, if anyone could pull it off it would be Heidi.  But the more at the look at this I don't like her hair and I think she needed more support up top.

Sequins, sparkles, and shiny things - Lucy Liu, Keri Washington, Amy Poehler, Hayden Panatierre, Nicole Kidman, and Sofia Vergara

This woman DOES NOT AGE.  Damn her.

I guess Keri looks fine but, like John said as he walked through the room, damn, she is way too skinny.

Divorce?  What divorce?  Looking good Amy.  Sorry you lost.  You deserved to win.

Gold shiny leaves and vines covered up with navy tulle for a sari effect.  I don't understand.  It's Marchesa who I despise and I guess the best thing I can say is that it's not the worst Marchesa I've ever seen.

I wanted to like this because it is sort of cool and I certainly like that teal color, but I couldn't get behind the dress from the waist down.  The sequins just look like they are forming sort of weird wings.

Which brings us to the mother of all sparkle dresses.  Sofia here obviously has quite a bod which is why I don't think she needs to try this hard.  All the beading and sequins just reminded me of some 80s Dynasty dresses.  And it looked so heavy and hard to walk in.  But, clearly she's stunning.

Edgy and high fashion - January Jones

For the record, I don't particularly like January Jones.  I think she's lucky as hell to be on a critically acclaimed show because she's not a very good actress.  But she does usually take risks on the red carpet and tends to gravitate towards edgy, high fashion type of stuff.  And, actually, I don't hate this dress.  I DO hate her hair and makeup.  And, as Stacey said, I think this would be more interesting if it was a color.  But, truthfully, at least it was unique and different.

Mayim Bialik - Just because you're a mom doesn't mean you have to dress this dowdy

This is just terrible.  TERRIBLE.  

The wacky ladies of "Game of Thrones" - Lena Headey and Emilia Clarke

Evil queen anyone?

Truthfully, if you cut the crazy skirt cape off, you might have a cute little dress.  Oh well.

Tina Fey - Best she's every looked?

Yay Tina!  Still sporting the kind of severe hair, but that color and cut of the dress is awesome.

Crazy yellows with varying degrees of success - Claire Danes, Juliane Moore, Julie Bowen

This is bad.  I get that she's pregnant but I would have preferred if she would have dressed the bump rather than half-heartedly ignored it.  It has no shape.  And her eyeliner is killing me.

Okay, so this one I can't decide.  I know most people hated it.  But, truly, I was shocked at how this color kind of worked on her with Julianne's red hair.  It was weird that it was sort of a very full, high skirt, with a long sleeve sweater shirt.  But, I don't know...is she pulling it off?  Besides, her hair and makeup are ridiculously awesome.  Best I've seen her look in years.  Damn, she's pretty.

In my opinion, Julie Bowen here is pulling this off.  The color is insane but clearly I've lost my mind because I like it.  Yes, her hair is too messy and processed for me, but I don't know.  I just like it.

I like prints but these were FAILS - Elisabeth Moss, Juliana Marguiles

Nope, just can't get behind it.

Man, I wanted to like this...and on camera it was sort of shiny and cool.  But, then again, it sort of looked like tapestry or drapes.  Soo....

Biggest disappointments - Connie Britton and Emily Van Camp

I adore Connie Britton.  And she has the most luscious long strawberry wavy hair.  And she chose to pin it up in a weird juvenile hairstyle.  Then she paired it with an ugly grey shiny dress that is smashing her chest.  Just terrible.

Emily here is a) young, b) pretty, c) tall, d) skinny, and e) on a hit show on the network that aired the Emmys.  All of this tells me that she could have literally worn ANY dress that existed.  And this is what she chose.  A boring taupe dress that is utterly forgettable. 

Maroons and some of my favorites - Jena Malone and Kat Denning

This is the best I've seen Jena look...possibly ever.  The dress is insane but it is interesting and the top has a cool design.  

I think Kat was literally the first person down the red carpet and I dug her dress.  It was super flattering and was great with her complexion.  Her makeup was pretty and her hair with the cute "hair jewelry" was cool.  

Not Good, Bad, and TERRIBLE - Edie Falco, Glenn Close, Ashley Judd

She certainly has the shoulders to rock this but the sheer illusion netting on the side and the giant gold belt wasn't working for me.

I don't even think I need to comment.

Yup, you're seeing it.  Hair SKY HIGH, giant giant bow, huge brooch, and hot pink taffeta.  I just don't understand who let her walk out of her house that way.

More Assorted Dresses in the Meh or Bad column 

Anna Gunn here is on my favorite show "Breaking Bad" but this dress isn't great.  Even worse, she has barely any makeup on to complement the red dress and her hair is kind of yucky.  And lay off the botox Anna!

I guess I don't totally think this is bad.  It was just a little clunky for little pixie Ginnifer Goodwin.  I do appreciate the fact that she's wearing something interesting though.

This isn't terrible, at all.  It's just kind of boring.  And this picture makes it look like a nice color but in other shots it was a weird rust color.

WEAR A COLOR Kristin Wiig.  (ps. I like your dark hair though)

Lady Mary!  This was your big American awards debut and you bombed.  The dress is just tragic.  Wrinkled and a bad cut and uninteresting.

Olivia Munn...you reek of desperation.

Portia di Rossi.  I just don't understand this.  Terrible color and a damn jumpsuit.  My biggest concern though is her face.  It doesn't look right.  Botox?

And my favorites - Kelly Osbourne and Leslie Mann

I seriously can't believe that Kelly Osbourne is one of my favorite dresses.  But it's true.  Yes, I know she has purple hair and that's not great.  But I like the purple dress and she looks so happy and great and it's all pulled together.

Controversial?  I don't know.  Some people hated this but I loved it.  Probably because a) I love orange and b) it looked comfortable as hell.  I do love some pockets too.  And turquoise jewelry.  Well done Leslie.  Totally different and crazy but you pulled it off!