Sam’s Year One
Well, this post is a few weeks late but it seems appropriate
since every Sam post this year has been a bit delayed. Second child syndrome I assume. But let’s dive into this past year,
shall we?
A little over a year ago I was a week from my due date and
cockily thought that I would be overdue again. So I was pretty shocked when my water broke and I had to
head to the hospital in the middle of the night. I was so much calmer this time around though. I’ll never forget driving with John on
an empty LA freeway at 2am through downtown LA. We were relaxed and chatting and couldn’t wait to meet our
new little boy. The labor was better because I knew what to expect and, in what
I would learn was true Sam style, he slid right into this world without much
fuss, ready to party even though the doctor wasn’t in the room.
The first few weeks, even months, are a blur. I just remember being on the go those
first four weeks when Sam was still asleep most of the time. He hung out in the Ergo on my chest
while I went to Jack’s play dates, led my MOMS Club meetings, and at every
preschool pickup and dropoff. While
I had been scared to death to go to Target with baby Jack, I took Sam
everywhere and anywhere. Sam sadly
wasn’t the greatest sleeper but he was better than Jack so it seemed like an
improvement. And besides, by the
second kid, your sleep is totally screwed and you’re conditioned to wake up
often so it’s just not as hard.
Nonetheless, I wouldn’t have complained if I had gotten a good sleeper. Sigh.
I guess I would sum up those first six months with Sam as
hard, but actually a little easier than I thought it would be. Jack was just so so tough that I had
psyched myself up to expect the absolute worst…so Sam seemed easier. Plus it helped that I now had a great
support system of fantastic mom friends who were always there to hold Sam while
I chased Jack around a park, or juggled bags and car seats or whatever.
Sam immediately showed us that he was going to be way
different than his brother. Even
now, while he doesn’t talk, he is just the opposite of Jack in so many
ways. From almost birth, Jack
loved hearing us read to him and would devour books. Sam has read about a total of 3 books in his 12 months of
life. Jack was so clingy and upset
in most new situations or big groups.
I would inevitably leave a play date early because he just wasn’t happy
hanging on a blanket on the grass.
Meanwhile Sam can’t wait to be put down so he can go toddling off to strangers
to say hi. It’s such a different
experience doing things with him…whether it be music class or trips to the zoo
or anything. He’s just a happy,
smiley, social kid.
While Sam’s outgoing personality made for an easier infant, I
think it’s made him a harder toddler than Jack. Just when I thought I had survived the hardest part (the
first six months), life went and laughed at me and gave me a challenging
toddler and a harder second half of the year. Where Jack was content to be at home and, even from a young
age, could play quietly and get engrossed in a book or toy, Sam was and
continues to be the opposite. He
hates just hanging at home, is bored by just my presence, and wants to be out
and about and entertained.
“Where’s the party?” is his motto I think. If you know me, you know this is not my lifestyle! So it’s been exhausting trying to keep
him entertained and happy. But
it’s worth it because his little crooked smile is infectious and adorable.
Sammy does have one thing in common with Jack though…he is
stubborn as hell. Those two
brothers…. I feel like I’m Sam’s
bodyguard most of the time, just trying to keep Jack from hurting him. Jack wasn’t pleased when we brought Sam
home and nowadays he isn’t much happier about the situation. They will have nice moments together
where Jack will hug him and say something loving. But most of the time Jack is hitting him or pushing him down
or yelling at him not to touch his toys.
Poor Sam only wants to keep up with him and copy him and he just gets
pushed around all day. I feel bad
for the kid because he’s become conditioned to wince when Jack runs up to
him. And yet he keeps going back
for more because there’s no one he loves more than Jack. I think “Jack” was even Sam’s first
word.
This first year was more challenging than I could have ever
imagined…and in different ways that I could have imagined. The sheer emotional and mental frustration
that comes from juggling a baby and a preschooler…it’s enough to send you over
the edge some days. John has been
my rock this whole year and we’ve had some days that were great and some that
were fairly terrible. When he’s
having a hard time with them I can try to cheer him up him and vice versa. (or we just keep each other from
killing the kids.) Thank goodness
for having a partner who is totally invested in Jack and Sam and who is here
for me all the time. I really feel
like I barely survived the year and I only did because of John.
All of these challenges are at least made better by the fact
that I know this is a phase, and a short one at that. I try to keep that in mind when I’ve got a screaming sobbing
over-tired baby tugging at my leg while I’m cleaning poop off my preschooler’s
legs and hands. I laugh about the
fact that I used to have a career and take a shower every morning and get
dressed to look presentable. And
now I’m cleaning vomit off of my pants because I have a toddler who is prone to
gagging and throwing up. It’s just
funny how life works out.
But I don’t think I’d trade it for the world, even on the
worst of days. Having Sam around
to laugh, smile, and brighten my day is better than anything else. I love when he’s a great mood after
dinner and he chases Jack and me around the house, giggling like a maniac. I love that his favorite thing to do is
cover his face with his little lovey blanket and play peek-a-boo with me. I love that he’s just starting saying
“WHOA” and he uses it all the time…especially when we see Christmas
lights. He’s a little character
that kid and I can’t wait to see what happens with him this next year when he
starts talking and his personality comes out even more. And who wouldn’t want to stare at his
little face all day? Happy
birthday Sammy Matts!
