The problem with having kids in Los Angeles is that I really don't know many people that have kids. Okay, I have two friends that have kids (hi stacey and karen!) but one of them is moving away and the other works during the week. So I want to try to meet other moms who are around during the week so that Jack can make friends and I can get out of the house. I joined this online group through meetup.com that's a bunch of moms in the Valley. And by "bunch" I mean like 500 I think. A little overwhelming. But last week I noticed that one of their meetups was for Baby Tummy Time at the park for babies under 6 months. Figuring that I better get this process started, I decided to go. Sure, my baby wasn't about to do tummy time and sure, he hates driving anywhere, but I figured I'd try. And it appeared that it was going to be a little group so it wouldn't be too overwhelming.
So we went. It was...okay. It was good, but just in an unnatural way. Like a blind date (I imagine). New first time moms who are strangers trying to awkwardly make conversation. We all had our little space on each of our little blankets. We all awkwardly shared the snacks we had brought. There were long periods of silence, which were then followed up by questions about the babies. How is your baby sleeping? How does he like going out? How is she breastfeeding? All the women were very nice. I honestly don't know if I'll ever see them again but at least it was good to get out. Jack even behaved pretty well. And of course he was the cutest baby in the bunch. ;-)
Nice work, Lisa. I'm extremely impressed - I never quite worked up the nerve to join any outside playgroups when Simon was a baby. I tried once or twice in the neighborhood when we lived in CA, but I didn't get into it as much as I should have. I'm probably going to have to do something like this out here, now that we're away from friends with kids - thanks for the inspiration!
ReplyDeletei'm also very impressed. i'll try to help craft your mom friend screening test. try to fill those awkward silences with with sly questions about dessert and oscar fashion. should be a good litmus test.
ReplyDeleteMy Mom group really helped me out (I would have gone crazy by myself all the time after awhile). Not all are great and people come and go, but if you meet three or four people you really enjoy hanging out with, by the time Jack is a year, you will be set. I love the Mom friends I've stuck with.
ReplyDeleteAlso, check to see if your local library has a library "lap sit" for 12 month and under. Mijo loved all the music and singing and getting out helped to keep me sane that first year.
Rosina, where did you meet your mom friends? Through an organized group?
ReplyDeleteI love the meetup Moms group that I'm a part of; they have saved me from insanity many times. Yes, it's a little awkward, but seeing the same people over and over again makes it better. I finally figured out that in order to see these people again (especially in such a large group) I had to be the one putting myself out there and send them messages on meetup. We'd coordinate which meetups we were going to so we could see each other there and not be so awkward. It helps, I promise!
ReplyDeleteI love meetup.com : ) I used it in California and then when we moved out here to NC to meet other moms. Usually there are a bunch of groups for moms of little ones and some are much smaller so I'd search it a bit. Even in the big ones though you'll tend to find most people don't actually participate and you'll see the same people again. And it will help you find great places to take kids if nothing else!
ReplyDeleteThe problem is, as a friend of mine once said, the only thing you have in common with these people for sure is that you are moms. And while that seems good enough, it's really like hanging out with a group of people because they all have cars. Kids and parenting styles vary so much! It's very tricky, good luck!