Today Jack is...38 weeks old.

Another good week and now we've only got a week and a half left of the cast! He still hasn't let it faze him in the slightest and his army crawl is getting even faster. This crawling thing is awesome. He can just be happy and play on the ground on his own. See how pleased he is with himself?

Here he is practicing his elevated crawl (still not successful) but he's getting there.

There he was smiling, right next to me so I turned away to choose a book off the bookshelf and when I turned back around, he was off and out the door.

What happened to my little immobile baby? He's a speedster. One of his favorite "toys" this week was an accounting envelope John brought home with an address window so it had like cellophane plastic that would crinkle when he would throw it around. He was very very amused.

He also is still obsessed with mirrors and MAN, he loves himself. Which he certainly doesn't get from me.

The little guy is still into books and his daddy is more than happy to oblige most mornings. It's quite adorable.

Earlier in the week we headed on over to our favorite outdoor mall where they were setting up Santa's house. I'd like to say that this is him looking in awe at the Christmas decorations, but he is just enthralled with the big fountain as usual.

In other news, I'm almost done breastfeeding I think. Each day I've done it less and less and he seems to be taking it just fine. He's chowing down on the formula bottles. I think he's getting a lot more than usual because he's eating less baby food. But I guess that's a fine trade off. I don't know really but I'll just keep doing what I'm doing.

And now, more pics from the week!

Looking at himself in the car mirror

Modeling his latest winter wear

And some pics of Jack enjoying time with our friend Orlando

Today Jack is...37 weeks old.

Another cast week down and he was mostly all smiles. We've decided that he's so happy nowadays because of his new-found crawling freedom. He LOVES being able to get around. he crawls and chases around his ball. He crawls to the curtains to play with them. He'll follow me around rooms too. He came dangerously close to crawling into the garage a few times but he didn't know how to negotiate the steps.

(Excuse the mad man hair...he had just woken up for a nap.)

I guess the best part of the crawling is that it means he's happier to play on his own for a few minutes. Sometimes as many as 15! Amazing. It's so cute to watch him entertain himself.

His eating is still going pretty well. He loves his fruit purees and has started eating the little pieces of fruit that I put in his mouth. He loves kiwi, cantaloupe, pineapple, strawberry, and watermelon. He got a hold of the watermelon rind this week and went to town.

My milk supply seems to be dwindling more than ever and I've started giving him a bottle a day because he seems like he needs it. I can see breastfeeding slowly coming to an end (though hopefully not in the immediate future) and it's a bummer. For bonding, sappy reasons but also because it's how I calm him down and put him to sleep. So, without nursing, I'm not sure what I'll do.

I also feel like I'd be remiss in not mentioning sleep...even if it's just for me to document it. He was sleeping pretty well but this past week he had some bad nights. Unusually bad nights. I'm wondering if this is the 8/9/10 month sleep regression that I've been reading about. He'll wake up around 11:30 or 12:30 and just be wide awake. Nothing can get him back to sleep. Not bouncing, not nursing, nothing. It's just terrible. He stays awake for about 2 hours. I'm really hoping these bad nights are few and far between because they make for a very tired mom and dad.

He still loves mirrors so we have a good time making funny faces. He also watches me try to high five him and practice waving and I think he's finally starting to get it! Maybe.

And now, more pics from the week!

Smiling at Aunt Leslie's dogs, off camera.

Not that you can tell, but rooting on the Steelers with Daddy's hat

Asleep because he was completely bored with my wandering through the Christmas decoration aisles. I don't know why he didn't find it fascinating.

Plum and grape puree...yum!

And this is one of John's favorite pictures of all time. He thinks he looks like a Disney character. I think it's pretty cute too. I just wish he wasn't sitting in front of a toilet. But, hey, I have to brush my teeth at least once a day. :)

Breast Cancer, Ta-Tas, and a Giveaway

As part of October's Breast Cancer Awareness month, the Save the Ta-tas Foundation invited bloggers to write a post on breast cancer. Their foundation was created as a way to fight breast cancer using “laughter and fun”. And as a pretty big supporter of those two things, I am excited to get to write a blog post. The Ta-tas website donates a portion of all sales to the fight against breast cancer. Keep reading and enter the giveaway for a chance to win a one of their onesies. PLEASE MAKE SURE TO COMMENT USING YOUR EMAIL ADDRESS IF YOU'D LIKE TO WIN.

I have never thought about boobs more in my entire life. As a new mom, they are constantly on my mind. In the past, they were just two things I had to contain in a nice, little, lacy bra. Okay, fine, I'll be honest…. A nice, not-so-little, comfortable t-shirt bra. But then I got pregnant. And things…intensified. They were huge. And hurt. I bought bigger, uglier bras. Then I had a baby and bought bigger, uglier nursing bras. Boobs were all over my life and I had better get used to it. After I gave birth, the hospital offered me a crash course in this new way of thinking when I had about 5 nurses pulling and positioning my breasts trying to help me breastfeed. A lactation consultant calmly examined my nipples and told me they were great for latching. I'd go to a mommy and me class and women were whipping them out and breastfeeding their newborns. Breastfeeding was, at first, quite a trial. Why in the hell don't they tell you how difficult it can be? So many books and classes made it sound like breastfeeding was the most magical, natural thing in the world and a newborn would latch on minutes after being born and angels would sing and bells would chime and there would be a pixie dust glow about the room. Maybe that's what it's like for some women, but not for me. It was a skill that both my son and I had to learn. But once we did we were off and running. I am now one of those women who breastfeeds in the mommy and me class and who casually nurses my son for an entire cross-country flight. I can certainly complain about some aspects of breastfeeding (and do) but only to my husband. And, well, maybe to the whole world wide web…the saggy boobs, the humongous size increase, the feeling like a human pacifier, the fact that your husband can't substitute for you at 3am, etc. All downsides to nursing. But most days I think of my friend and I am extremely grateful for this gift, saggy boobs and all.

Jenny is exactly one week younger than me. We've been to Italy together, we've thrown joint birthday parties, we've worked together for years. She's tall, I'm tall. She likes food, I like food. She's funny, I'm funny. So when she told me right after our 31st birthday that she had breast cancer, I was floored. 31 years old? My age? Impossible. She was so healthy! Way healthier than me. She would describe her 10-mile hikes, her yoga sessions, juice smoothies, and her exercise classes and I would shudder in horror. Yet suddenly I was pregnant and bemoaning my aching boobs, and she was about to have a mastectomy. And a few months later I had this tiny little being that I loved and, by some miracle, I could feed and nourish him all with my boobs. In the blink of an eye, our roles could have been reversed. I easily could have been the one who, early on a Saturday morning in the bathroom, found a lump rather than a positive pregnancy test. But here I was breastfeeding my newborn and I thought about what I would do if that opportunity were taken away from me. If these boobs I'd been complaining about and that nurses had been poking and prodding were no longer. And I was so sad. Then I was pissed. And then I was full of admiration for Jenny. She got her diagnosis and then refused to be a victim. She researched, she read every article and website about the subject, she fought her cancer with surgery, with Western medicine and with Eastern acupuncture and diet changes. She handled it about 100 times better than I ever could have. Breast cancer, like all cancers, is so damn unfair and cruel. And it doesn’t discriminate based on age. I could have easily been the one diagnosed in the middle of my 30s. I know women with double mastectomies certainly go on to have children and bottle-feed their newborns and I think that's so amazing. But to want to breastfeed and not have the option because of breast cancer… It breaks my heart. So even with my saggy boobs, stretched out nursing bras, bouts of mastitis, breast pads, engorgement pain, pumping sessions, and a teething infant, I'm forever grateful for this experience.

Learn more about donating to the fight against breast cancer by visiting Save The Ta-Tas. Ta-tas is helping me give away one of their baby onesies. To enter the giveaway, just leave a comment. For an additional entry and chance to win, you can follow my blog. Once we've picked a random winner next Wednesday 10/19, I'll email that person to get the desired size and address. Good luck! Contest valid for residents of the U.S. only. Must be 18 years or older and remember to provide a valid email address. We can't have an ANONYMOUS winner because I won't know how to contact you. Thanks!

5 Month Doctor's Visit!

Yesterday was Jack's 5 month check-up (a little late) and there was good news and bad news. The good news was that a) everyone there thought he was ridiculously cute because he was all smiles, b) he took his one shot very well and c) he grew an inch in length.

The bad news is that he not only did not gain weight, but he lost weight. :-( This is not good. And it made me very sad. I am pretty sure the entire problem is my dwindling milk supply. I never had an overabundance but in the past few weeks I can tell it's been declining. And the poor little guy isn't getting enough. So, what to do? The doctor wants me to start him on rice cereal (and then eventually vegetables and fruits) right away. If this doesn't help him gain weight in the next two weeks, I have to start supplementing with formula. Which I know will be the beginning of the end of breastfeeding. This is all a real bummer to me but I just want him to be healthy. I had all these grand ideas of skipping rice cereal because of all the articles I had read about how pointless it is but I've decided to just follow the doctor's orders. Though I'm not sure he'll be able to swallow it yet and therefore not sure how much weight it'll put on him.

The most ridiculous part of this that makes me laugh? That my problem is that my son is underweight. Underweight. Are you kidding me? I have to diet and count calories and deal with jeans that are too tight for the past two decades but I have a son who is too skinny? What the hell! Life is funny.

Well, I guess to keep a record of it, here are his current stats:

Weight: 13 pounds, 3 ounces (10th percentile)
Height: 26 inches (70th percentile)

I guess he's telling me to "suck it, mom"

So our latest issue with the little guy (why use the word 'problem'?) is bottle-feeding. If you remember, we had some breastfeeding problems the first week of his life so we had to give him formula. At that time, he immediately took the bottle, no problem. And then he easily switched back to the breast. Before Jack was born I knew I wanted to pump so that John could take some turns feeding him and eventually we could leave him with a babysitter to, you know, maybe have a dinner that lasts longer than 10 minutes. Forget actual individual luxuries like haircuts and massages. I know those are out the window but I would like to hang out with my husband one on one at least once in the next 6 months.

Anyways, that was my plan. Pump so that we could use a bottle when necessary. Then I actually had a baby and started using the pump and guess what? Pumping sucks. And it's incredibly hard to find time to do it when you're holding a baby all day. But I have pumped and have a small frozen stash. Now, around week 5 I thought about trying to give him a bottle but things got in the way and it just seemed like a hassle. Besides, he had taken a bottle week 1 so it wouldn't be a problem. WRONG. Last week we tried to give him a bottle and he rejected it. Big time. Like, 'how dare you try to make me suck on this'. We've tried all different things...me giving it to him, John giving it to him, him in our arms, him in his bouncy seat, different bottles and nipples, etc. He rejects all of them. I suppose I should have seen this coming since he refuses to suck on a pacifier. Our next step is to have John take a day to just keep at it. Not give up after 3 minutes like we usually do. Which sounds terrible and hard. And I think he'll just get more and more upset and refuse to take it. We'll see. The worst part of all this? The damn waste of pumped milk. Every time I thaw a bag and he refuses to drink it I weep as I pour the milk down the drain and think of that crappy 20 minute pump session.

Tongue-tied

When Jack was a few days old and we visited the pediatrician, she noticed that he was tongue-tied. Meaning that his frenulum (the little membrane part that connects the bottom of the tongue to the bottom of your mouth) was short and close to the tip of his tongue. It's a fairly common thing and it's genetic. One look at John's tongue and we knew where Jack got it from. It's obviously not a big deal (John seems to have done okay) but it can interfere with breastfeeding and, in some cases, cause a slight speech impediment. The solution nowadays is a very quick procedure where they snip the frenulum, thus freeing the tongue for serious movement. The pediatrician didn't think Jack's was too severe so she wanted us to wait and see how Jack breastfed. A few days after that the lactation consultant was visiting us and also noticed his tongue. She thought we should just have the procedure done.

Fast forward 4 weeks later (I'm a procrastinator) and we finally decide that we may have the procedure done. The doc says that he seems to be getting enough breastmilk so it's not absolutely necessary but it's our choice. I tell her that because he's tongue-tied, he has a hard time getting a deep latch while nursing and he's slowly killing me. :-) So she refers us to an ENT doctor and assures us it's a very easy minor thing.

So this week we strap Jack into his car seat to take him to the ENT doctor. I apologize to him profusely because every single time we've taken him for a drive, it's been to a doctor and brought pain with it. I promise him that one day, we'll go for a drive that doesn't involve torture. We roll up to the new doc's office and Jack takes his first elevator ride. He clearly was suspicious...

And he should have been suspicious because that elevator was taking him to no place he wanted to go.

I won't go into a ton of detail but, while it was a minor procedure (numb the little frenulum under the tongue, clamp it so there's no blood, and snip it with scissors), nothing is minor with a four week old. Jack screamed and cried while the doc examined his mouth, numbed the area, and clamped it. And then he unleashed a wail I'll never forget when he cut it. And another wail. And an neverending wail. He got so so worked up. He was bright red and sweating profusely. then because he was crying so hard, he got a ton of mucus in his throat and it sounded like he was having trouble breathing. Well, to his mom it sounded like he was having trouble breathing. The doctor did not seem concerned at all and just tried to suction it out of his mouth. To no avail. Jack's cries and sounds of agony seriously killed me. John did his best trying to calm both of us down. Nothing really worked (for Jack) until he eventually passed out in his car seat on the way home. As the doctor predicted, he slept for hours and hours after such a trying ordeal.

In the end, he's perfectly fine and will have no recollection of the entire event. (Unlike his parents.) And now he'll be able to do crazy tricks with his tongue and stick it out at me when he's throwing a temper tantrum.

champion eater and sleeper

Well, I don't want to jinx it, but Jack has been a champion this past day or two. Last night he slept like crazy, only waking up when we got him up for a feed. And he didn't cry once! Of course, I fully expect a lot of bad nights in our future, but I'll take this one great one. Jack must have known that his parents needed a little more sleep and he happily obliged. He's taken to breastfeeding really well and seems to be drinking milk like crazy. We'll see how much he's gained his next weigh-in. Now if only mommy could find some bras that fit....

In honor our of great night, here's our first family photos and some additional adorable ones.

I call this one "Sleep Deprivation: A Study of New Parents"

La Leche esta aqui!

I'm hoping that means "the milk is here!" It's been a while since high school Spanish. But after our 12 hour formula sojourn, my milk came in. So that solved problem one. But Jack was/is still having trouble latching so we had a lactation consultant come visit. LC's are quite popular nowadays and, while I didn't know how worthwhile it would be, this woman was worth her weight in gold. She spent three hours with us, going over Jack's long 3-day history, different latches, and helped us breastfeed for 90 minutes. She was fantastic. She left and we were confident we could do everything she had taught us. Of course, we hit a few bumps in the road but we're all doing better. Jack's been feeding away and I'm confident he's gaining weight. Well, I'm mostly confident. A few 2am meltdowns shake that confidence sometimes, but most of the time, Jack is an angel. Here he is, pretty damn mellow, after a nice long feeding.

First outing

Yesterday Jack had his first outing. The special destination was the pediatrician's office for his standard 3 day check-up. He's so tiny that the car seat almost swallowed him up.

Of course, he was looking tinier than before we thought. And the previous 10 hours or so, he had refused to really breastfeed and was just so so upset all the time. His lips were really chapped and, upon further investigation, his mouth and tongue were super dry. So thank goodness we happened to have a doctor's appointment right then. The doctor was wonderful (so glad we chose her pre-birth). She told us that he had lost about a pound since birth which was more than she wanted to see and that he was dehydrated. As my milk hasn't come in yet, he wasn't getting anything to eat and that's why he was so upset and didn't want to bother with the breast. I don't blame him. So Doc suggested that we would have to supplement with formula to have him gain some weight. The mere mention of formula was somewhat upsetting. After nine months of reading how much better breastmilk was than formula, it was disheartening to hear that we would have to use formula. But she assured us that he would be able to go back to breastfeeding once my milk comes in. We'll see what happens. But it was hard to argue with the immediate results of him getting some food. His color got back to normal, his lips immediately began to be moist again, and he stopped crying for hours. So, what's best for Jack is best for everyone. :-) Especially since it allowed us to get some more sleep.

Jack had his follow-up appointment this morning and we're happy to report he gained a whole 5 ounces overnight! Not back up to birth weight or even to hospital discharge weight, but we're getting there!